"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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