I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
