I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I want to be your penis for a week.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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