I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
