Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
