the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
