never play flip cup with pint glasses
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
