Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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