You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
