This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
