im about as happy as oj after his trial
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
