When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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