so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
nutella sex= disaster
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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