Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
