Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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