woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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