What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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