He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Randomize