he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
