this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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