So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
