She's JV to your varsity
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
