Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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