the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
