I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize