Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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