She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize