This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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