When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
