Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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