I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
