I think scott just propositioned me for sex
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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