I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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