I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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