You really coming over, don't trick.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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