Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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