dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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