I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
