Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize