maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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