office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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