Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize