I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
