The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
