You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
