and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
