He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
