Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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