A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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