Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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