Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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