Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
