I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
