I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
