I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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