I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
