Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
