I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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