dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
