By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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