Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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